Only for You

You were my everything,

But I let you down.

Now I hardly feel,

Like I'm broken down.

It's funny though isn't it?

How before you left everything was shit.

And now that you're gone,

I force myself to go on and on.

I don't want to disappoint you.

I pray you were right.

If I ever choose to leave though,

It wouldn't be right, Would it?

I used to stare in the mirror,

And scream my lungs out.

I used to draw bloody lines on my hands,

To feel the things I couldn't  write about.

The day you left I think I died with you. 

I would stare and stare,

You didn't even look like you;

So I locked the door,

And took care of you.

I'd never let you down, 

You know that, don't you?

Then when I left the room,

And locked myself in the bathroom;

I cried at my reflection,

Full of guilt from old intentions.

Somedays I let myself down.

But it's not the same as letting you down.

I cry, I hurt, but I won't disrespect you!

I might want to die sometimes, but I'll always pull through!

Only for you...

― Mélissa Gonzalez, 10 Décembre 2019